Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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