Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
