Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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