Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
