i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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