girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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