im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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