did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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