i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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