you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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