she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
