she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
