im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
