think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
