Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
