things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
