If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
