therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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