A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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