Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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