I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
