you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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