btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
