Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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