the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
