Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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