i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
