I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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