Operation Purity has been aborted
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
