The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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