Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Randomize
