two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
