He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
