oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
