I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
