do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
