Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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