Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
