i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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