READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
