last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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