Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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