Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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