How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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