In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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