What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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