so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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