This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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