Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
