i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
